one letter off from being something x1000 more horrifying.
mY STOMACH OH GOD
sometimes I let my dog sleep on my bed and sometimes when I try to go to sleep i open my eyes and she’s just smiling at me like the biggest fuckin idiot, like I’m the best thing since sliced bread, and god I just really love my dog
me: what’s for dinner?
her: *spreads her legs*
so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it.